I want to share a personal story with you and I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this. Miscarriage is a touchy subject. It’s sensitive, full of pain, and sometimes causes many women to lose hope. But could there be a way to overcome this? I want to share my experience about my success after multiple miscarriages, and maybe give a little hope to those who are going through this.
As you read through my post you will see that i’ve included some books that I think could be helpful in understanding and coping with miscarriage.
By 2007 I already had two kids of my own, ages 4 and 5 so you would think that having a miscarriage wouldn’t have hit me as bad. Why should it? I was lucky enough to be blessed with kids and shouldn’t be greedy, right? Wrong.
I never experienced a miscarriage before, I was young, (24) and this was all new to me. What I didn’t know is that for a period of time before the miscarriage I had been suffering with depression. I didn’t put the pieces together until after, but this is something that women should be aware of.
Knowing your body and knowing when something is off will help you maintain mental health even after something as brutal as a miscarriage strikes. Especially if this isn’t your first miscarriage.
So, when I was 24, I was hit with the miscarriage bug! I was devastated. Even though I was only 11 weeks pregnant I had already grown attached to the idea that I would be introducing a new little one into my family and I had already grown to love it.
I was so stressed and overworked that I didn’t bother to take the time to really take care of myself and my baby as I probably should have. I guess I just thought that as long as the baby was inside me it would be okay. Again, I was wrong.
Taking care of your body when you are pregnant is just as important as taking care of the baby once they come into our world. You have to eat properly, take your vitamins, try to get little exercise, and plenty of rest.
I didn’t know this and I made a big mistake.
Knowing what foods to eat and what is forbidden is also needed, as well as what medications you can and can’t take.
So, here I was, 24, alone for the first time in my life, and spiraling down a road to nowhere and then the unthinkable happened. I tried to commit suicide. The mind is a tricky thing and it’s easy to lose yourself when you go through trauma. When you are experiencing a traumatic situation, the best thing you can do is to surround yourself with people who love you and are supportive of you.
They will help you cope with the situation and help you to get through it so you can go on with your life.
And yet again.
In 2011 my husband and I were pregnant again. This time again, I was so excited, but because of my prior experience, I was hesitant to feel much of anything the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Once I passed that point, I was the happiest person alive.
I thought for sure, I would have this baby and all would be right in the world, but yet again, something that had never happened to me before happened. At 18 weeks of pregnancy my placenta detached from my body.
If you don’t know what a placenta is, it is an organ that develops in your uterus during pregnancy. This structure provides oxygen and nutrients to your growing baby and removes waste products from your baby’s blood. This is absolutely needed for a successful pregnancy.
So, what happened to mine?
Well, I had a condition called “Placental abruption” It’s when the placenta peels away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery — either partially or completely — when that happens, a condition known as placental abruption develops. This can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients and cause you to bleed heavily. Placenta abruption could result in an emergency situation requiring early delivery. (source)
No one knows why it happened or how, but at 18 weeks of pregnancy I had to deliver the baby and once he entered our world he lost all consciousness. The hardest part for me was knowing he was alive and when I made the choice to end the pregnancy, I made the choice to end his life.
Luckily this time I knew what to do automatically. I made sure to be around family and friends and not let myself get swallowed up in a smoke of depression. I was sad, yes, but I was prepared, and that makes a world of difference.
The hardest thing I had to do was to tell my kids that the baby I was carrying was no longer with us. And as my daughter cried I tried my hardest to comfort her. Two weeks before Christmas I had to break such horrible news and I was so afraid I would devastate them.
This could leave you with a feeling of guilt. Wondering if there was something you could have done differently. Truth be told, sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it.
So, what about your future of having a baby, will you be able to?
Depending on the situation that caused your miscarriage, your doctor will be able to tell you if this is something that is possible. There are situations that are beyond your control, but in some cases, you will be able to go on to have a successful pregnancy.
After 2011 I was worried that I would never be able to have a baby again, not because I couldn’t get pregnant but because the chances of carrying a baby full term just seemed impossible. But I was wrong. Yes, there are chances that I could go through the same placental abruption again, but there was also a chance that I wouldn’t.
In 2016, I was pregnant again, and this time, I took my medical history to my doctor in the beginning and worked out a plan to help me have a successful pregnancy.
The not so fun part? Getting a shot of progestin in my butt once a week from 16 weeks until 36 weeks of pregnancy. They hurt but the reward was worth it. I was put on a medication called “Makena.” This medication was used to help me lower the risk of having a preterm baby. I’m guessing it worked!
For the first time in all of my pregnancies I had gestational diabetes. That wasn’t fun either. Insulin shots, and watching what I was eating especially with cravings was such a bummer. But it’s manageable and I made it through.
But you know what? In July 2017 my son Jayden was born 6 pounds even. I never would have guessed I could be so lucky, and until he was actually here I was so hesitant to bank on the idea that I could have a healthy baby. But it is possible, and it could be for you too, so make sure to look at all of your options and talk with your doctor and most of all…
DON’T GIVE UP!
If you had a miscarriage, or multiple I would love to hear from you. Did you manage to have a successful pregnancy afterwards? Please share your experience with us. I’m sure other trying moms would love to hear your story, leave your comment below, and thanks for reading my latest post.
Related: Mommy Central