Mommy Info

Resignation During Maternity Leave, Does It Make Sense?

Jayden 1 Day Old

How many times have you asked yourself if you should bother going back to work after having your newborn baby? You contemplate and wonder, question and make lists and you try so desperately to figure out what to do, and then it hits you. Resignation during maternity leave, but does it make sense? Absolutely not.

It’s so hard to leave your little one in the hands of a complete stranger while you go slave away at a nine to five and have to pump your breast milk in a bathroom stall. All the while you feel in your heart that you are making the worst mistake of your life.

I know what it feels like to want to hold your baby tight but can’t. It’s not fun, but if you do return to work that emotional time will pass, you will get through it and you will be happy that you decided to return to work. Leaving work will not only put you finances in a tough spot, but your marriage as well. In the long run things will be okay but you have to prepare yourself for the situation that will arise.

The Unbarable Truth

This is what I know. If you do decide to leave work while out on your maternity leave, at least wait until the end. That way you get your pay for the entire three months. Have you thought about how hard it will be financially? Devastatingly horrid.

Why do I say this? Because right now my life is upside down. Financially, emotionally, mentally, and everything else in between. I didn’t leave work during my maternity leave, I left before I got pregnant. Because I have suffered with the curse of failed pregnancies and knew how much time I would have to put into my prenatal care and being completely unstressed, this was the best option for me.

Once my baby was born there was no way I could leave him. I kept telling my husband that I would return to work once I finished my degree, but once I did, I still couldn’t bare it. The thought of leaving Jayden with strangers haunted me, not to mention how much it would cost to put him in daycare. I would pretty much be working just to pay for that so it didn’t make sense.

Click Here: The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success After Baby

 

When Jayden reached sixteen months old I finally decided that I would find a job and jump in with both feet. Once I landed a job I went on a two-week bender of touring childcare centers trying to find the perfect one for my perfect little one. Finally, I came to one that was reasonably priced and seemed like a good fit for us.

So, what happened? For the first week, I would work I decided to leave Jayden with my sister so he could get used to being without me and then I would start him at daycare. Only, I didn’t last that long. I worked a total of four days before giving in to my emotional roller coaster and was back at home with my baby. Crazy, right?

It’s more than crazy. I love my baby to death as does any mom, but what do I do after being out of work for so long? I noticed that it became harder and harder to find a job, and even though I’m in a graduate program, jobs just aren’t biting. The ones that are don’t pay nearly enough to survive. That’s when I turned to working from home.

I have been searching and searching for a work from home job, and even though there are some out there, the hours I need to be concentrating I have a toddler screaming his head off. How can I make it work?

My husband and I are cutting pennies in half to make ends meet at this point and I don’t see it getting any easier. This is what you need to prepare yourself for. There are months that some bills don’t get paid and we are constantly moving things around so we can get by. It’s not a pretty picture.

If I had to make a change I probably wouldn’t because I love being home with my little guy, but you need to know what you are getting yourself into and how hard it will be. There are no date nights, no vacations, no leisure activities, no extra. We have just enough to barely get by financially and it has taken a major toll on our marriage.

Only You Can Decide

If you have a hefty savings account and you think you can take off a year or two, by all means, do what you need to, but if you don’t, prepare yourself for a long ride.

The smartest thing you could do for yourself and your family is to go back to work and dedicate you at home time to your little one. I’m hoping that by the time Jayden turns two I will be able to find a decent job because life is hard and now I think he’s at the age where he needs to go to daycare to learn how to socialize with other kids his own age.

When I was researching this topic, there were a lot of mixed views on it. There were moms that left work and were happy that they could be home raising their children in spite of how hard things were, but there were also moms who were happy they didn’t succumb to their feelings and quit because it would have made their lives harder.

No decision is going to be the right one for everyone, this is something that you need to decide for yourself, but if you are aware of the outcome and have time to prepare then it’s better for you to know now instead of later. If you are still pregnant then you have time and can start saving for the time you will be out of work, and if you’ve already given birth, maybe another way is just to work part-time until you feel completely ready to return to work full time.

Either way, whatever you decide will be the best option for you and your baby. But don’t let anyone tell you what to do. Before you make a decision, please take a look at this book. It could really help you to come to what is the best decision for you and your family. I don’t want this post to be too long so I won’t go into detail about it, but I will tell you, Lauren is genius with this book. It’s resourceful and has advice from hundreds of moms who went through the exact same thing.

Click Here: The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success After Baby

Did you decide to leave work while out on maternity leave? If so, what was your outcome? I would love to hear more about your experience and I’m sure other moms would too. Please leave your comments below. Thanks for reading my latest post.

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12 Comments

  1. Reading this brought back a rush of emotions! I remember going through this with my first child. At the time I was a real estate agent and thought I would have the flexibility to be a home with her during the day and do showings in the evening. But it wasn’t that simple and I felt like I was constantly distracted, whether I was home with my daughter answering emails, or trying to rush through showings so I could get back home to my family as soon as possible. I realized I was doing neither job very well.

    My licensed lapsed and I decided to stay home. I eventually opened a day care and spent 4 wonderful years getting to play with my child and her friends. The days weren’t always easy, and I definitely felt isolated at times and starved for adult attention, but I wouldn’t trade those days for anything. Now I have 3 children and home school full time. We actually ended up saving more money by me staying home, because I didn’t have the expenses related to a working profession (clothes, car, dining out) and we eat better because I have the time to make healthy simpler meals for my family.

    I guess the take away would be, if there is a will there is a way- and you figure out how to make it work for your situation. 🙂

    1. Hi Lauren, Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s so hard to have to decide between work and your baby. But as moms we always do what’s best for them in the long run.

  2. I didn’t choose to leave work while I was on maternity leave. On the contrary, I was looking forward to returning to work 2 months after my son was born. I needed to get away from diapers and housekeeping. I needed time for myself as an individual, not just mom. IMHO going back to work made me a better mother. I noticed that when I had plenty of time to spend with him, that was it: quantity. But when I returned home from work there was something more important in the time spent together: quality. Plus remaining at work helped me raise him after my divorce. I never regretted it.

    1. Hi Effie, Thanks for sharing. I love that you were able to choose to go back to work and loved it. I love being home with my baby but I also miss my alone time and I am with him all day every day.

  3. I had three boys, and had the career of the family. So I was the one who had to go back to work. It was very hard. When I got to my third child, I quit while still pregnant. It was hard and I was separated at the time. But so worth it. All I can say, is you don’t get those years back. So if you can stay home, you should!

    1. That’s hard when everything is on you, you have no choice but to go back. At least you got to stay home with your third baby. I definitely agree that if you can stay home you should. At least for the first year. Your baby will benefit so much from spending this time with you.

  4. I only had 3 months maternity leave and that’s certainly not enough time to spend with a new born. I certainly was not ready to leave my bundle of joy to return to work. Nevertheless, I needed to go and that was one of the hardest decision I had to make. It still affects me today, so If you can afford to resign, I’d say do it.

    1. Thanks Carol, I think a lot of moms feel guilty about leaving their little ones at such a young age. But every situation is different. I wouldn’t trade this time for anything even if I do have to struggle a little more. I love being home with my son so I know for me I made the right decision but some moms aren’t so lucky and have no choice but to return to work. Thanks for reading my post!

  5. Wow!! what a touch article. I am not a mother so I don’t know what a child would be like. However, I can imagine that it must be hard. I just can not believe there is no way to get the every new mother the first 2 years off and they still have their jobs. I think working from home should be a option if it’s not.

    1. Hi Cherry, I’m sure every mom would love a change like that, I guess it’s just not possible. Employers don’t want to pay and until recently they were against hiring women if they were pregnant. I think 3 months is just not enough even 6 months would be better. Thanks for your comment.

  6. Hi, this time is so hard for mums and babies, and husbands of course 😉 I remember when I decided to return to work, my baby was 7 months but I felt so bad, guilty for leaving him alone, well not alone. My husband quit his job and because I was on higher income we decided the best decision was for me to return to work and him staying with the baby in the house. Our plan lasted 3 months because my husband was getting tired and stressed of not having his own money. We then put the baby in childcare but he transitioned slowly. first he went once per week, then 2 days per week and slowly we increased the days to 4. I had Fridays off with him at home and it was the perfect balance. We were both working, I still had an extra day with the baby at home and we were all happy, we still are 😀 now I’m bank full time at work and I’m so tired because the baby now a toddler is so active and has so much energy. But still we manage and enjoy. The key is to find the perfect balance that makes everyone happy. Thanks for sharing your experience 😀

    1. Thank you for sharing this experience with me. It’s true balance is key. I spend my days home with my son but I still do a lot of work throughout the day so i’m not always with him. Between school and working on my blog and home duties I also find time to just be with him and play and relax. It’s all about balance so i’m glad you shared that.

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